The only three certainties in life are death, taxes, and a new celebrity beauty line announced pretty much weekly.
Ellen just revealed the impending arrival of her “age positive skin care” brand Kind Science. Drake released scented candles in May. Scarlett Johansson’s as yet unnamed skincare brand is set to arrive in 2022.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley launched Rose Inc in September, the same month that Ariana Grande confirmed her R.E.M Beauty was “coming soon”, and two inevitable hair lines arrived from hair icons Jennifer Aniston (LolaVie) and Jonathan Van Ness (JVN).
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September also saw tennis legend Naomi Osaka became beauty mogul, with her line KINLÒ focusing on “skincare for the melanin-rich”. A busy month!
The latest rumour? According to investigative journalists, Meghan Markle, who has allegedly been seen taking meetings with the same company behind Cindy Crawford’s brand Meaningful Beauty.
If you have a profile big or small in 2021, you are a brand and therefore, you must parlay that into the potentially extremely lucrative beauty business.
The huge success of Rihanna’s Fenty, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, Selena Gomez’s Rare Beauty, Jessica Alba’s Honest, Tracee Ellis Ross’ Pattern and Kylie Jenner’s Kylie Cosmetics (etc. etc.) have made the beauty industry like catnip for high profile names looking to expand their brands and add ‘founder’ to their bio.
It’s nothing new of course; Elizabeth Taylor and Sophia Loren did it in the ‘80s. Today though, it’s pretty much a given. Lady Gaga, Iman, Pharrel, Addison Rae, Jada Pinkett Smith, Millie Bobby Brown, Halsey, Drew Barrymore, Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Kristen Bell: they all have a line.
At this point it might be more insightful to ask, who doesn’t? And, well… who should?
This is rumoured, and another of those inevitable announcements. Think ‘Harry Styles beauty’ and you can literally picture it: groovy Gucci-esque branding, nail polish (of course), gender fluid makeup, unisex fragrance.
That farmer’s market photo became the reference photo for a million 20/30-somethings who’d been flirting with the idea of getting a fringe – so a hair care line would be obvious. Or perhaps lime-based beauty?
It’s only in recent times we’ve been allowed to see newsreaders with ‘natural’ hair, after what feels like forever with personality-free smooth blowouts with those waves. It’s like society decided women couldn’t have curly hair and a brain.
Indira epitomises a new breed of women on our TV screens who isn’t afraid to ask hard questions, and has the best curls in the land. We would love to get our hands on her haircare routine (and her brain too, tbh).
Despite her famed cynicism and rage towards pretty much everything, I actually think the NYC writer, icon and raconteur is very vain.
She’s also 70 and despite being a long-term chain smoker, has great skin – she’s definitely used a few skincare products in her time. Her line would consist of just three skincare products, with minimalist navy and white packaging that would be designed by Savile Rowe tailors Anderson & Sheppard.
Yes we know she has a very lucrative and ever-growing line of fragrance, but perhaps she could diversify into scented candles?
The AOC brand name is obvious, as well as its hero product: red lipstick that lasts. It would be small batch, plastic free, US-made and accessibly priced. She would get criticised for being anti-feminist, pro-capitalism, buying into the beauty myth, and so on and so on. Will never happen!
His lockdown videos have been very funny, but we’ve been distracted by his fantastic clear glowing skin. Show us his skincare routine and get him a fun, genderless and inclusive skincare and makeup line, stat!
For years the fashion designer has been an icon of genuine personal style and self-expression through the power of makeup, with her bright pink hair, red lipstick and divine blue eyeshadow. A look!
Now 81-years-old, and having just launched a collaboration with Ikea, it’s Dame Zandra’s duty to educate the beauty dolls.
Duh, this would of course be CBD based.
She regularly pushes back against societal expectations of how women should look and behave, an attitude that both the fashion and beauty industries desperately need more of. And her beauty looks are regularly iconic!
Trust us, this will be coming. Bold, expressive, 2000s-inspired makeup products (lipgloss, pastel frosted eyeshadow, face diamantés) with a campaign photographed by Petra Collins. The brand name will be in lowercase.
Products formulated specifically for grey hair. Very spare packaging. Cinematic campaigns.
Glamour, drama, Fashion, capital F: surely this one is already in the works?
She recently became the ‘face’ of Bumble and bumble’s Bb. Illuminated Blonde range, but we can definitely picture a beauty line of her own.
This is a girl who went to the Met Gala wearing a Collina Strada horse head dress, and who idolises beauty mogul Paris Hilton – so it’d be delightfully weird and fun, pink, and 2000s-inspired.
Looks like she’s never been caught without a beach umbrella or very big sun hat – we see a great sunblock line, for mother and child, in her future. (Red hair haircare way too obvious)
Product #1: Tear-proof waterproof mascara.